


Manic

by This_is_your_Heichou_speaking



Series: Cross My Heart [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: But Loki doesn't know, Harry Potter & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Master of Death Harry Potter, just a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 19:52:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11215122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_is_your_Heichou_speaking/pseuds/This_is_your_Heichou_speaking
Summary: Unbetaed.





	Manic

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed.

"Harry?" There was a surprised note in the man's voice as he came across his lover. He attempted to cover it, but it was already too late for that - Harry understood just fine. Despite everything, his lover hadn't foreseen his interruption.

' _Does he think that little of me?_ ' he thought, but he didn't turn or reply. His back tensed slightly against his will as he felt the taller man near him and put a hesitant hand on his shoulder. When he still didn't respond, the grip tightened and he was turned to face the one man he hated and loved more than anything.

"Harry," the voice was soothing now, gentle as if to coerce a small, frightened animal out of its hiding spot. He cringed internally at the comparison. Was that what he'd become now? Had he, the one who rid the wizarding world of the dark Lord that terrorised it, become so complacent? He hated himself for it, and promised to himself he wouldn't let it happen again.

"Loki," his voice was calm in response, almost blasé, and Loki frowned before he could stop himself.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, annoyance audible in his voice.

Harry smiled, deliberately putting on an uncaring front. "Tony is my friend, Loki, I'm just visiting. The real question is, what are _you_  doing here?"

The grip on his shoulder tightened until he feared it might bruise, but he didn't lose the calm smile on his face. Loki's eyes grew darker in anger as his other hand came up to his face and his fingers tightened around his chin. "Will you betray me too, love?" he asked, voice silky and low.

Harry laughed bitterly, glaring a little. "Betray _you_?" He asked sarcastically. "And what do you call this, Loki dearest?" He waved a negligent hand over the view of the city, and already there was smoke rising from collapsing buildings. Already, there were people running around in fear and pain.

"This is for us, Harry," Loki started, but Harry shook his head gently. Loki's fingers gripped his chin until he couldn't move it again, but Harry didn't care.

"It's for you, Loki. All the people I sacrificed my childhood for, spent my _life_  saving. What did I do it for?"

"They did not deserve you!" Loki snarled, incensed. "They hurt you, took and took and what did you get in return except pain and abandonment? They are all worthless," his voice softened suddenly, a smile creeping onto his face. "You told me yourself, Harry, how they turned on you at the drop of a hat. You wondered what you did wrong, but the truth is that humans are just like that. It is in their nature."

"How are you any different from Voldemort, Loki?" Harry asked softly, sadly. Their lips were ever closer now, and Harry could hear the desperation in his voice but what was the point in hiding it, anymore? He loved this man, even as he hated everything Loki stood for. Even as he hated the man for what he was doing.

"How could you compare me to _him_ , Harry?" his lover seemed amazed at the comparison, incredulous. "I would never hurt you."

"You'd hurt them." He said, neglecting to say how Loki was hurting him even now, grip firm enough to maybe leave bruises, and lies piling up high enough to make him wonder if he'd ever even known the real Loki, if he'd always just loved a mask.

"They are mortals, Harry. Vermin."

"So am I." He whispered. ' _So was I_.'

Loki stared at him, their mouths touching every time either of them spoke now, soft breath against each other's lips and Harry just wanted to kiss him, so badly.

He didn't. "You're different," and Loki's eyes were pleading with him.

Harry laughed sharply. He tried to move his face away, dislodge the hand holding his face still, but Loki was holding onto his waist now, another hand on his nape, and he was pressed so close that Harry could feel every part of him against every inch of his body. He hated it, but for a minute he wished they'd be frozen here, in this time, because he didn't know if they could ever be like this again.

He didn't know if Loki could still love him after this.

"Do you hear yourself?" he asked. He tried to calm his breathing, to calm his head. It wouldn't do to jump onto his lover violently, or to burst out crying. Or both. "You're a hypocrite, Loki."

The man holding him froze, so still and cold he might literally have turned to ice. "Even you...?"

Harry wanted to scream at the look of hurt in Loki's eyes. This wasn't what he wanted, and the urge to wrap his arms around the man and whisper endearments in his ear was almost overwhelming. Still, he held himself still.

"Stop it, please," he said instead, watching as the betrayal grew. "I can't-" he broke off as Loki moved suddenly, and then there were lips on his own, teeth scraping at his mouth and tongue dancing with his own, until he could barely breathe. His mouth hurt, but he couldn't stop, couldn't let go because what if he never saw Loki again? What if this man didn't stop for him, and decided this _invasion_  was more important than Harry? How would he live with himself, and live for such a long, _long_  time. Not that Loki knew.

Oh God, Loki didn't _know_.

The kiss - though it was more of a brutal assault - donations came to an end and for a moment Harry didn't know why, but then Loki's chest was rumbling under his hands as he spoke, face turned away from him, and he realised there was someone else there.

"Tony?" he gasped as he set eyes on the red-yellow armour, and the man smirked back.

"Comfortable there, Sparkles?"

His face went red, and all of a sudden the tiled flooring seemed incredibly interesting, but he didn't move out of Loki's arms. He couldn't find it in himself to step away yet, and Loki's arms tightened to prevent it just in case.

"You sure know how to pick 'em." The man continued, undeterred by Harry's lack of a response. It was said in a teasing tone, but Harry could detect the undercurrent of sympathy underneath it, and he suddenly felt so very tired. His grip tightened where his hands lay on Loki's chest, fingers curling into the little amount of green fabric there was amongst metal and leather.

"What can I say?" he muttered, smiling sadly. "I suppose I do." Tony didn't say anything else, merely turned to Loki, who stood glaring at him.

"So, what's it gonna be, Reindeer Games?"

The man positively snarled at him in response. "There are no choices here, Man of Iron. You will stand down, or I will make you."

"See, I really can't do that." Tony snapped down the faceplate of his suit, readying himself. Loki turned from Harry, reaching for his sceptre, and Harry gripped onto him to pull him back.

"Please, please Loki. Don't do this." He sounded pathetic, he knew, but he just wanted-

"Don't you _beg_ , Gandalf," Tony growled from behind his suit, voice coming through speakers and not sounding any less fierce for it. "He doesn't deserve that, and you deserve so much more."

Harry closed his eyes in defeat as Loki took offense to that and ripped away from him, stalking over to Tony. He looked beautiful even now, elegance and power in every line of his body. Harry hurt at the thought of fighting him, but even now he knew he would.

Once again, he had to do what was _right_.

Loki approached Tony confidently, his handsome face twisted into an ugly sneer, and made to swing his sceptre only to be blasted away by Tony, who didn't wait for him to recover before laying into him. Harry shook himself out of his stupor, looking away from his lover and the hate in his every motion. He wrapped his arms around him, and apparated.

The next few hours were spent evacuating people and stabilising buildings so they wouldn't collapse and take innocent lives. He tried not to keep up with matters over by the tower, but he couldn't deny that - despite knowing it was wrong - a part of him yearned to help the man he loved. He was stronger than that though, and if he hadn't bowed to the Dursleys and Voldemort then he wouldn't bow to Loki either, no matter how much he loved him.

And then he could feel Loki hurting as he was beat through the link they shared, and when he made it back to the tower to see the man unconscious and subdued, he realised that Tony - his best friend Tony - was flying a nuke up through the wormhole. He felt frozen as he watched, Loki's head in his lap, as the seconds passed and Tony did not return, fingers clenching in fear.

He gasped when Tony reappeared just as the portal closed, only to shout out wordlessly when he realised he wasn't flying, but falling.

Scrambling up as quickly as he could, Harry apparated to a closer building and pointed his wand at the falling figure in red and yellow, mind flashing back to when he'd been in a somewhat similar position - except, of course, that he'd been the person doing the falling that time, and that it happened during a game of quidditch.

" _Arresto Momentum_!' he shouted desperately, hoping against hopes that he was close enough, powerful enough, quick enough. The figures watching from down below didn't seem to know which way to look, but eventually Tony had safely landed and Harry watched long enough to know he was awake before going back to Loki.

He was awake again when Harry came back, glaring balefully at the ceiling as if it was the cause of all the faults in the world. His eyes slid over to Harry as the younger man walked in, eyes softening slightly but not losing the anger. He couldn't move - Harry had made sure of that, but now that he was here the wizard cast _Incarcerous_  and then un-petrified him, helping him sit up with gentle hands.

He didn't look up as he did this, but he didn't have to - Loki's displeasure was practically coming off him in waves.

They were silent for a long while, sitting there, before Loki finally gave in. "What are you doing here?" he muttered, clearly upset.

Harry chanced a glance up at his face, fiddling uselessly with his fingers. He shook his head, questioning. "Where else would I be?" He asked softly.

Loki snorted. "With your pet heroes, my dear, celebrating the defeat of your enemy."

A wave of anger went through him at his lover's words. He scowled angrily, glaring into Loki's eyes. "How dare you," he whispered, incensed. "Don't you turn this on me! I warned you, I _told_  you-"

"You betrayed me!" Loki shouted, skin gaining a faint bluish tinge as he lost control of himself. "You were supposed to take _my_  side-"

"Are you serious?" Harry exclaimed incredulously. "You were in the _wrong_ , Loki. You would have murdered thousands, and I was supposed to stand by and _let_  you?"

The man snorted, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have expected more from you," he muttered. "You're just a human after all, even if you have magic. You're just like the rest of them."

Harry straightened his back, clenching his fists hard enough that his nails were this side of drawing blood from his palms. "I'm not just human, Loki," he said, voice deceptively calm. "I was, once, but I haven't been for a long time." Saying so, he let his tight hold on his magic slip, let Loki sense the change in his core and taste his magic anew. The other's eyes widened as he sensed what Harry was, and he seemed to draw into himself as he stared at the younger in shock.

"You..." He mumbled, eyes wide as if he'd never seen Harry before. The wizard wrapped his arms around himself defensively in response. Loki leaned forward slightly, closing his eyes as if losing himself. "It's so potent," he whispered. "Delicious."

Harry's cheeks reddened almost instantaneously, and his eyes widened. He had expected many reactions, but this wasn't one. "I- I didn't know how to tell you," he said, voice shaky. He wasn't sure what to do with himself anymore, and the anger from earlier seemed to just disappear. "I wanted to, but then-"

"Hush," Loki interrupted, moving closer even with his hands tied behind his back. "I could never have _dreamed_ -" he kissed Harry, briefly, on the lips, leaving him feeling as if he were frozen. "You're mine," he hissed, nudging Harry's nose with his own affectionately.

"Of course I am," Harry whispered. "But it doesn't change what you did, Loki. It doesn't make it okay."

"I'm sorry," his lover told him, looking at him fondly. "My Master of Death," he chuckled, "who could have guessed?"

Harry frowned, feeling a little apprehensive. He looked at Loki carefully. "It doesn't make it okay, Loki," he said again. "You know what that means?"

"Of course," his lover replied smoothly, but he didn't seem upset - just strangely relieved.

"Okay..." Harry murmured. "So, ummm, Thor will probably be here in a while, to take you up to Asgard - why aren't you upset?" he exclaimed incredulously. The man just looked at him, all soft eyes and gentle smiles, and Harry flushed, confused.

"You might be put away for _decades_ ," he breathed, staring at Loki wide-eyed. " _Why are you not upset_?"

"I thought you would die," Loki replied finally. He leant forwards, pushing his nose into the crook where Harry's neck joined his shoulder, and breathed in deeply. Harry found he couldn't move, not closer and not away, as cold realisation flooded him.

"You thought I would... die." They stayed like that for a second as Harry processed the thought, and Loki knew exactly when he had, because Harry threw himself forward into his lap with a wordless cry, holding him tightly to himself as if he'd never let go.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed, and Loki's arms twitched as if he wished he could wrap his arms around Harry in turn, but he was unable.

He settled for leaning his cheek against the top of Harry's head, breathing in the warm scent of home the man exuded. "It is okay," he whispered soothingly, and who would have dreamed that _Loki_  would ever be the one comforting, the one reassuring anybody else?

He pressed his lips to wild black curls fleetingly, smiling at the way arms tightened around his waist. "It is okay," he repeated. "It will be fine."

And it would be. Loki had killed hundreds, tried to take away the world's freedom and rule it, and though a large part of him had wanted it, he knew that it was the anger at abandonment by Odin and Thor - his supposed family, and fear of his apparently mortal lover's impending death that had pushed him to agree to the bargain with the titan, where before he would never bow and take orders from anyone.

But it didn't matter now - he was done. He would come clean about _everything_  to Harry, from Thor's banishment to his bid to take over the world. In a while, he'd be taken to Asgard to stand trial, and he'd likely be put away for decades, but knowing he'd still see Harry alive and well when he came out of the other side made it seem a much smaller punishment.

There was still anger inside him, hate for Odin who'd lied to him and Thor who'd upstaged him at every turn, hate for all of the Asgardians who'd ever looked down their nose and sneered at him and his magic and called him weak, and maybe this was all a way to prove them wrong too. But in the end, he loved Harry so much more than any of that. He didn't think he could ever forget, but he was sure he could move past it. With time.


End file.
